Obama Delays Xmas Until 12/27

Posted by LK on 12/20/09 • Categorized as Blog, Featured

Santobama My fellow Americans:

Our economy is already walking a tightrope in a windstorm. This weekend’s weather, and the negative effect it no doubt had on retail sales, could well be the tipping point that turns a slow but steady recovery into the dreaded W double dip you’ve being hearing about, and dreading.

Therefore, I’ve appointed a temporary holiday czar, who has assured me that I can, through executive decree, declare that this year, and this year only, Christmas will fall on the 27th of December. This will allow brick and mortar stores to pick up not only the sales lost to Mother Nature, but will, I believe, warm the heart of Father Christmas, who, not unlike my own family, would welcome nothing more than to find improving unemployment numbers under his tree on Christmas morn.

We have, of course, checked with the Vatican, and after a bit of hemming and hawing on the part of some folks there who don’t take to change as well as they might, they’ve agreed to support me in exchange for 100 billion dollars, which seems to be the going rate these days for agreements and photo-ops.

At least that’s what it was in Copenhagen.

So I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and/or any other holiday you and yours may be celebrating. Got to cover everyone. Offend no one. Bow if necessary. But I digress.

Now get out there and spend some of that fiat currency, before it’s worth even less than it is now.

Good night, and may God bless America.