America’s Shutting Down
There’s a scene you’ve probably seen in the movies where the power to a major metropolis is cut, and the lights on the skyscrapers systematically and sequentially shut down. That’s what’s happening to America, albeit at a slower pace. But not in slow motion.
Airlines are eliminating flights, placing surcharges on bags and free tickets (yes, that’s an oxymoron), and I’ve heard rumblings that weighing passengers is being considered, as we are morphed from unique sentient beings into freight. As we’re f’d by the price of the two f’s (food and fuel), lifestyles are changing for all but the super-rich, and even though they’ve got the cushion to continue to live as they have, they’re not immune from having to deal with lower corporate profits and quite probably lower end of year bonuses. My hankie remains dry while considering their plight.
Any self-respecting extra-terrestrial dispassionately monitoring our planet sees a perfect storm of indeterminate nature and length brewing, unless of course, they’ve long since tamed chaos theory, in which case they know how things will play out. If they do, I respectfully request that they direct one of their supercomputers to e-mail us a printout of their projections.
These documents can be sent to lk@loosekannon.com. Anything sent to D.C. would be a waste of time and bandwidth.
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Dear LK:
Last night while sipping Theraflu and Jack Daniels, I received this transmission from David Bowie in space. (see Flight of The Conchords, Ep6)
Dear Falcon:
Mahmoud Imadinnerjacket released more test nukes over Israel. They are really cool looking, man! Russia is flipping a ruble to decide which side they are going to hang with, while Isreal is buying up the rest of Miami and paving South Beach for more runways from where to launch their own counter attack. Freaky, Dude!
Then, last night, while we all were hangin out chuckling to some old CSNY peace jingles, we noticed India turning their huge windmachines toward the UK! Me alien bro’s and meself about had a shite! “They are gonna use their pollution to destroy England,” one of me mates screamed! “Bollocks,” yelled meself! America won’t let that happen!” We turned our view NW to zoom in on the USA. The Congress and Senate were all on vacation together on a Fantasy Singles Cruise to the Grand Cayman Islands rushing to withdrawl their secret funds. I reckoned, this was it.
Peace & Party, D.B.
you are a true gem. it’s a shame i find my laughter ceasing and desisting when the underlying reality that drives your satire makes itself evident to me. many thanks. LK